If there's one thing I love, it's communication. But did you know that people communicate in different ways all over the world? These are some fun linguism facts that you can read!
Mind Your Language!
Some cultures certainly know how to do an insulting! (These are not for the easily offended!)
Your mother has never been born!
When you bend over, an obscure early rhythm & blues recording goes out of copyright!
Every time I fuck your sister, it is as if I am in the occult section of an old, dilapidated library. I look over to my left and I see an old man sitting there, naked, with his feet on the chair and his knees wide apart. His shrivelled balls hang uselessly, dessicated, like deflated leather balloons, it is quite disgusting. He has no cock. He fixes me with his eyes, sharp eyes, redolent of an ancient evil, older than the earth itself, and I feel a terror like all the terror in the universe is concentrated within my being. It is as if I am a nexus for all the terror that ever existed. However, I do not feel this way when I fuck your uncle!
Lost In Translation!
Though hilarious in their own languages, some foreign jokes just won't translate into English! Here are some of my favourites...
The young lady wishes for a new dress. Perhaps this young gentleman will buy her one!
My father was supposed to build a fence, but instead he gave birth to an elk with human feet.
A woman walks into the bar. Her elbow reminds you of an elbow that used to belong to a friend of yours, Piotr. It was taken from Piotr several years ago when he was mugged during a weekend city break in Copenhagen. Even now, he lies awake at night thinking about his elbow. Is it safe? Is it happy? He has changed since the incident. He was once very charismatic, confident and outgoing, good at his job (he is a forensic accountant), but now he rarely goes out and he is being sidelined at work. So you turn to the woman and say, "those are nice shoes, I'd like to eat them!" Slowly, she looks you up and down, then finally she says, "why the long face?" It is at this point that you look into a nearby mirror, and you see that you have become a bishop.
Did You Know..?
Curiously, every word in John Lennon's hit Imagine exists in the tongue of the Crimean Tatars, though the meanings could not be more different!
Lennon's record label Apple cleverly decided to take advantage of this quirk by shooting an alternative version of the promotional video especially for the Crimean market, to convey the lyrics as they would be understood.
The video features Lennon driving his white piano like a tank around northwestern Asia, conquering it territory by territory for Crimea. As the song reaches its climax, Yoko Ono appears in the form of a harpy and perches on Lennon's outstretched arm as the Red Banner burns behind them. It has only ever been seen by twelve people. Since 1993, ten of them have been murdered.
I fear I may be next, and so I intend to go underground for the foreseeable future. See you soon, language lovers!